My roller coaster ride through mommyhood and some pictures from the 4th of July

Wow. I went to CVS this morning with the intent of buying fat-free milk for my cereal here at work and all they had was whole milk. I opted for a diet coke and three magazines instead. Weight Watchers, Fitness, and something called Abs that claims can give me a smaller waist in 28 days. Apparently it’s also going to tell me how to banish emotional eating. Where was this article yesterday when I was so irritable that I had pasta for lunch and half a giant bag of peanut m&ms? Better yet, when will I find the time to actually read said magazines because work has been insanely busy (I’m currently taking a break before I go blind making edits to a seemingly endless table), I nap on the bus home unless I am next to a chatty Kathy who sees my eyes are closed but talks to me anyway, I pick up Sydney from daycare and spend the rest of my evening playing with her and feeding her and changing her and playing with her some more until she goes to sleep (which I LOVE doing and would do without fail over and over again because seeing her smile means more to me than anything in the world. Nothing would make me happier than to be a stay-at-home mom and not have to leave her for 12 hours everyday, well, besides being a comfy size 8, but I'll save that post for another day). Then I wash dishes and fix her bottles for daycare and maybe wash and iron my clothes for work and the next thing I know it’s after 9 and I haven’t made anything for myself for supper so I grab a glass of water or some crackers and call it a meal. Occasionally I come up for air. It’s truly amazing that I’m not emaciated at this point, which would almost be welcome because then I could fit into my pre-baby clothes and not look like I’m about to spawn again! And those are the days I don’t have errands to run.

My solution: take a mental health day or two next week (work permitting). I want to drop Sydney off at daycare and sleep in a few hours on day 1, and on day 2, spend 8 glorious hours scrubbing my floors, cleaning my house, and weeding through all the clutter that we no longer need and possibly do some redecorating (nothing extravagant, maybe a slipcover for the sofas and hanging some pictures). That’s sure to make me feel better. Right? If not, I will just look at the most beautiful baby in the world. She’ll smile at me. Everything will be ok.

I actually wrote all of the above yesterday but didn’t have any pictures from our weekend in PA to post. You’ll be glad to know that I’m feeling somewhat better (not so much about my fatness and the horrible paint color on my walls upstairs, but about everything else – feeling less tired and somewhat overwhelmed in the afternoons). I expected to be on an emotional roller coaster after having a baby but I sure didn’t think I would feel every last bump and turn along the way. I’m pretty sure Doug didn’t expect to feel all of them either, or rather the wrath of them (I told you it wasn’t you, well not all the time anyway hah!). Oh well. Baby steps. One day at a time. Whatever cliché you wish to use. That’s how I’m getting through – oh, and it doesn’t hurt that I have this sweet face smiling back at me!



Here are some pictures we made in Potter County over the holiday. Enjoy!

Here we are taking a walk down the street (can you really call a dirt road a street?) Doug grew up on.



She liked looking at the flowers.



Apparently we all have ADD and can't look at the camera at the same time!



Sydney fell asleep before the fireworks started.



And woke up not long after they did. She never took her eyes off them!