If you are unsure whether or not you are a mom, and trust me, there will be days you wonder whether or not it was truly possible that you could overcome your fear of pain and needles to push out 8 pounds of human flesh - sorry for that mental image, really I am, then just read below.
1. You have ever wiped your child's nose with your bare hand because wrangling a baby wipe or tissue from your purse would have taken too long allowing bodily fluid from your child's nose to reach your child's mouth and the thought of that is much more disgusting to you than having someone else's snot on your bare hand or heaven forbid your shirt, nevermind that it's probably crusted with banana or mushed crackers from sticky baby fingers.
2. You realize after you have already left the house that your shirt and pants are covered in bananas and/or mushed crackers from sticky baby fingers and you just keep driving, because really, it's much less work to not care about that than it would be to take your child out of the car seat, take 10 minutes for her to walk from the car to the house because she doesn't want to be carried anymore, and change clothes only to have sticky baby fingers dirty up the new clothes because she insists on giving your legs a hug (which, BTW are the sweetest thing EVER!) while you are trying to get dressed. And let's not even talk about the fight to get her back into her car seat after she was recently set free.
3. You have ever cleaned out your purse and found 2 plastic Easter eggs, 1 bright orange kitty cat link, and a baby brush resting comfortably under your wallet, glasses case, and camera. Let's Make a Deal, here I come!
4. You have ever left a restaurant and when the hostess said "Have a nice night", you are so frazzled by the evening's events that you are unable to form any coherent words and end up sounding like you stuffed a bunch of cottonballs in your mouth. Mental note: Wait a few months before going back to Famous Daves.
5. You no longer freak out when you are changing a diaper and get poo on your hands because your child refuses to lay still for the duration of said diaper change. That's what extra wipes and hand sanitizer is for.
6. You happily take a bite of pretzel rod that your child offers you, nevermind that she's just spent the last 5 minutes with it in her mouth, because in the rush to get out of the house you missed eating your own breakfast and a slobbery pretzel is much more enticing than passing out somewhere in the mall.
7. Sleeping late on the weekend is no longer 12:30pm, but 7:30am, and you are perfectly ok with that.
If you are guilty of any of the above, then the answer is a resounding YES, you are definitely a mom. A proud, busy, wornout, fearless, could care less what other people in line at Target or the grocery store think of you mom!